You Can Do Anything

Katherine, the last couple of weeks just zoomed by. So much to write about and after a beautiful Okanagan weekend it’s evening and while daddy is playing with you, I have time to write.

You are able to sit up now – you started sitting on your own just a couple days after you turned six months. Wobbly at first (and falling over more times than I can count), you were determined. Every day, you became a bit more stable. At first, playing while sitting was too much, sitting and balancing took all your concentration. Now, you are sitting confidently and playing with your toys (or crumpling up paper if it’s within your reach). This is a big milestone and we are so proud of you!

We went on our first vacation – daddy, you and I drove to Vancouver for some wonderful days of sightseeing, visiting with family and just hanging out and having fun. We experienced lots of “firsts” on this trip… your first time at a hotel, sleeping away from home, your first time in a swimming pool and of course your first time on the public transport system, skytrain and bus. Now, that was an interesting experience, and a first for your daddy and me. The really cool part about it wasn’t so much the logistics of getting on and off with a stroller (we had a couple of things to learn about that), but it was how you chose to behave. Being in a big city, people are typically not as open to connect - when we go for our evening strolls in the residential areas in Kelowna, people greet us as we walk by them; but in downtown in Vancouver on public transit, people tend to be minding their own business…. or do they? You were determined to connect with people in the city and on the skytrain and before long you had perfect strangers giggling at you, very serious looking businessmen making funny faces at you in an attempt to make you laugh and many more individuals quietly smiling as you chose to connect with them for a brief moment. It really made me think; sharing a moment of eye contact or a quiet smile with a stranger is all we need to make a connection that brightens our day. You did this instinctively – and because nobody ever taught you that you can’t.

You are teaching me that we don’t know all we can do unless we try. Often we don’t try because there is a chance that we could fail. That fear of failure can hold us back from learning new skills, making new friends and being all we can be. No matter how many times you fell over when you were learning to sit, no matter how many times that made you cry, and no matter how frustrated you were in the moment, giving up clearly never crossed your mind. My wish for you (and everyone) is that we never give up on anything that’s important to us in life and remember we can do anything, if only we try.

Laughs, Picnics and Love

Katherine, you are 6 months today. What a journey it has been so far – and much more to come… I can’t wait! Life is full of laughs, surprising moments and so much love; every day brings something new.

A couple of days ago your daddy, you and I walked to the beach at the Okanagan Lake in the evening (ok, ok, daddy and I walked and you were comfortably pushed in your stroller). I had packed us a picnic for dinner and we sat down by the lake enjoying a casual meal and great family time. After dinner I took you down to the water and you watched the waves coming in; I could tell you were both fascinated and calmed by the gentle waves breaking at the shore. I carefully stood you on your feet and held you as your toes touched the sand and the little waves washed over your feet, the sun started setting behind the mountains. Giggling and laughing we stood in the water – it was one of those “perfect moments”.

Tonight I had a hard time letting you go to sleep – during our playtime just before bed I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing the last 6 months have been and how our lives have changed so much. More hectic? Sure. More challenging to balance my days? Sure. But above all, so much more perfect!

Throughout the evening tonight we’ve had some funny laughing “conversations”. As soon as I laughed, you responded with this giggling belly laugh until you stopped and looked at me, waiting for me to laugh again, then it was your turn again and so on. This went on until we both stopped, looked at each other with serious expressions and burst back into more laughter and giggling.

You are teaching me that when life gets challenging – and it does – taking time to laugh, taking time to go for a walk on the beach is making the day much happier and much less stressful. When things go wrong for you – and they do, you will react (and yes, in your case that usually means crying at the highest voice volume possible). But then it’s time to move on, get a hug, and look forward again with a new smile and fresh energy. Thank you for reminding me of that every day. I love you always and forever.

Quality Time

Katherine, today was a "spend-time-together-but-not-as-much-as-usual" kind of day.

During the day you were with me at my office, but having a meeting that I could not take you in with me, you hung out with a team member and friend at the office during that time. When I came out of my meeting you were peacefully asleep cuddled up in her arms.... This evening I went out for an event, so it was daddy and baby time and you were already asleep when I got home.

On a day like today I am grateful that you have lots of caring people in your life. I enjoy our times where we hang out together, and the bedtime routine where I read to you and we cuddle up together, but even more than that I feel content knowing that you are happy too cuddling up with a friend for your nap or that you enjoy daddy's nighttime routine... and seeing you sound asleep when I came home was definite proof of that.

You are teaching me that time spent with the people we love is not about the quanity, but the quality. Having a phone call from a friend far away, or coffee with a busy friend in the same town - friendship is not dependent on how often we connect but how much we care when we do. And as for us, we still had lots of great moments to connect; time to cuddle, play and explore the world together... and of course the moment when I heard you cry a little in your sleep after I got home tonight and I raced to your room to give you a hug and a soft kiss good night.

A New Experience

Katherine, today you tried “solid” food for the first time. For the past weeks and days you have been more and more curious about the food Mark and I eat (and no, you really can’t have those Starbucks Frappuchinos you have been reaching for). I have been researching which food to start you out with – and the opinions widely vary depending if I research on Canadian or German websites. We even bought a jar of vegetable puree yesterday and some rice to make rice cereal out of… just so we have it when we decided the time is right (after all, you are only just over 5 months old and most research says to wait until 6 months).

But as you are your own person, it’s not up to me - you let me know that you were ready. As I was getting ready to make lunch for daddy and me today, you were in the kitchen with me, watching my every move and wildly waving your arms… aha, there was my clue! So I found the tiniest pot I have in my kitchen, cut up a fresh carrot and cooked and pureed it for you.

There we were, ready with photo and video camera, a tiny spoon and a generous sized bib as you had your first taste of carrot puree. I am not sure what was the bigger experience for you – the taste of the carrot or the fact that there was a spoon instead of a bottle in your mouth… but it was great fun to watch you experience this different sensation and taste.

You are teaching me that new experiences are fun – when we are ready for them. Trying something for the first time is magical… at any age. Be it food, or doing something we have never done before allows us to learn, grow and broaden our horizon. But trying new things can also send us outside our comfort zone and therefore sometimes we hold back instead of leaping forward into new experiences. For today, I am grateful I got to share your first food experience with you and I love that you have many more “first” adventures ahead of you.

Choices and Decisions

Katherine, I just spent a high energy hour playing with you... and we had lots of fun together! When I saw you started to get tired, rubbing your little eys with your tiny hands, I sat down with you in our big chair in your room, gave you your "good-night" bottle and you fell asleep cuddled up in my arms. This is part of our routine and I miss this special time only on occasion when I have a commitment in the evening.

As you were falling asleep in my arms tonight, I was thinking what I'm not doing because I'm spending time with you, right here, right now. I had an invitation to fly to Toronto at the end of this weekend for a business event. Having a conversation with a friend a few days ago, he said to me "it's too bad you can't make it" and while I knew he understood, after the phone call I found myself wondering, could I have gone, should I have gone? I'm sure I would have had a great time, been spoiled with luxurious food and accommodation, and have had many meaningful conversations. But I would have missed spending time with you. And I know, realistically, I will travel for business sometimes as you are growing up, and sometimes this will mean that we'll be spending some time apart... I'm just not ready for that, not just yet.

You are teaching me that "giving up" an opportunity doesn't really feel like giving up anything when it's for the right reason, and for this weekend, I know it's a choice worth making. As I am typing this blog entry, quietly sitting in your room where you are sleeping deeply now, I can't help but think about how the choices we make every day shape the life we live. We just cannot get caught up in wondering what different outcomes different choices would bring, but we must be confident in our ability to make the right decisions. Just as I am sure I want to be here Sunday evening to kiss you good night and cuddle you to sleep.

Special Moments

Katherine, we're having so much fun together! And you just keep learning, growing and developing at warp speed. Yesterday morning you were in your room on a blanket and I decided it would be nice to roll you from your back onto your front for some tummy time. Just before I did that, I zipped downstairs to grab the video camera (telling myself I take some many pictures of you, I should really take some video too)... So I'm all set with the camera, roll you on your tummy and begin recording, quite honestly concentrating more on making sure you're well in the picuture than on you. In that moment you look up, and roll on your back completely by yourelf for the first time! I wasn't sure what surprised me more... that you rolled over or that I caught it on video.

Later in the afternoon Mark took me out to a coffee place... and one thing you have taught us about going out is to go to a busy place so you can "people watch". So we went to the coffee place that's inside the big bookstore in the mall - always busy and so much to see, hear and smell there for you. After a while you got a bit unsettled, so you and I took a stoll through the bookstore, inevitably ending up in the children's book section. And there I learned that you are quite capable of making decisions of what you do and don't like (I just need to be present in the moment to listen). Just for fun I showed you a book about colours which completely caught your attention. After we put it back and kept strolling, I showed you a few other books (including another colour book I thought was way cuter than the first one), but none of them really seemed to interest you too much. Later on I decided to show you the book again, and again you were captivated by it... so buying you a copy was an easy choice and you are "reading" it with great interest.

You are teaching me that you are your own person, ever so small still, but nevertheless a person with opinions, feelings and the power to make her own choices. Be it choosing when it's the right time to roll over for the first time (thank you for having such perfect timing!!), or be it choosing what books you like. It's my job to protect you, to nurture and love you, but it's also my job to give you the freedom to be yourself so that you can grow up to become a person who makes her choices with confidence and knows that her opinion matters.

Mother's Day

Katherine, yesterday was Mother's Day; my first Mother's day. Thank you for making it a very special day!

Right from the first moment in the morning I felt proud to be a mom - your mom. You did wake up very early, feeling a bit uncomfortable and the food from your bottle did not stay down. Your dad was already by your side and I did jump out of bed too; there we were changing sheets and cleaning your face when you looked at Dad and me, and all of a sudden the happiest smile appeared on your face. Feeling much better again, you were giggling and reaching out to touch us. You dad was laughing and said to me "Happy Mother's Day" and sitting there amongst wet cloths I felt so proud, so privileged to be Mom - I'm not joking... it was such a perfect family moment - filled with love and genuine care for each other.

We spent the whole day together as a family, including a fabulous lunch out and an even more fabulous walk to the beach... I still had a smile on my face when I fell into bed exhausted at the end of the day.

You are teaching me that the perfect day is the one we choose to make perfect. When we went out for lunch you were unsettled, so we took a walk around the parking lot and strolled into some stores, until you were calmer - lunch is fabulous at 2 pm when it's Sunday and there is no schedule. Things may not always go exactly to plan but we're able to do anything when we do it together - and that makes for a perfect day!